thesassycat:

my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and they’re like

hey your friend is hot

(Source: thesassycat, via t--dactyl)

thesassycat:

me: how much is this poster of the incredibly sexy woman?
salesman: that’s a mirror, miss.

(Source: thesassycat, via t--dactyl)

(Source: cocknurse, via memewhore)

(Source: memewhore)

tastefullyoffensive:

"Oh god, make it stop!" [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

"Oh god, make it stop!" [x]

(Source: josefbl, via memewhore)

  • Person: Hi, do you want pizza?
  • Person Nobody Likes: No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It looks so good, but the calories--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: ...and the fat--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Here's a long explanation of my diet...
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: But I wish I could cheat LOL!
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
  • Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
  • Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
  • Unfeeling universe:
  • Person Nobody Likes: Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
  • Existential dread:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
  • Death itself:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's a small size.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Gotta watch my thighs!
  • Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
  • Person Nobody Likes: BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.

(Source: memewhore)

meerareed:

Buffy Meme: [5/7] quotes -

If you think that’s enough to kill me, you really don’t know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you’re gonna find out.

(via weaseltotheface)